Tales of HetaSoft
by toofamiliar
Summary: The tales of office drones at HetaSoft, a small software company. When Ludwig, the CEO, decided to switch the company's email system to Gmail, he never imagined that the employees would immediately turn to Gchat to rant, rave, flirt, bicker, and waste time... Human office AU featuring multiple character POVs and multiple pairings. Rated T for suggestive themes/language.
1. Gchats 1: Gilbert and the NoGood Day

_Author's note: HetaSoft is my take on the office AU (in which I draw very heavily on my own 9-5 life). It's the ongoing tales of a small software company. HetaSoft was founded by Ludwig (CEO) & Kiku (VP of Technology) in 2007, and has grown into a dysfunctional family of sorts. Naturally, most of the Hetalia characters work there in some capacity, and talk (flirt, argue, complain, etc) constantly on gchat. These are the transcripts of their chats..._

* * *

** Ludwig Beilschmidt: **Gilbert. I have been informed by Ms. Braginskaya that you are in violation of the dress code. This is the 3rd time this week and it's only Wednesday.

** Gilbert Beilschmidt: **Seriously Luddy? you don't have better things to do with your time than complain about my awesome tee?

**Ludwig Beilschmidt: **Your t-shirt is not "awesome." It is inappropriate for the office setting. The dress code requires that you wear business attire, or, at the very least, business casual when clients are not present in the office.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **Oh come on. You wrote the stupid dress code yourself. you can definitely bend it for your amazing older brother who is the best software tester ever. in order to break your totally unawesome software, i gotta be comfortable. I gotta be ME, man! and that doesn't mean wearing a stupid monkey suit.

**Ludwig Beilschmidt: **It is not about comfort. It is about presenting a proper face to the world and instilling faith in our clients that although we may be a young company, we are professional and capable.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **Blah, blah, blah. Don't you have a staff meeting or something you should be running? Oh hey, for the company-wide meeting tomorrow, can you get those Italians to cater the lunch again? they're so cute!

**Ludwig Beilschmidt: **Don't try to change the subject. I am sending Elizaveta over with an appropriate shirt and tie for you to put on.

******Gilbert Beilschmidt: **}:-O

* * *

** Matthew Williams: **Hey, Gilbert. I just uploaded the latest release to the github server. It's ready for you to test.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **ahhh you couldn't have waited until tomorrow morning? I wanted to get out of here early, Diablo III is calling my name.

**Matthew Williams: **Sorry. Nice tie, BTW.

******Gilbert Beilschmidt: **:-\

* * *

** Antonio Carriedo: **hiiiii gil look i finally got my own laptop! now i can chat too in between my projects :) :) :)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **Toni! How'd you manage that?

**Antonio Carriedo: **franny said he asked finance very nicely to approve the purchase and after lots of hard negotiation he was able to get jos to say yes!

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **Hard negotiation my ass. You know I don't want to hear that shit!

**Antonio Carriedo: **you are very silly gil. anyway, i am taking my break after cleaning up the conference room.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **What was happening in there?

**Antonio Carriedo: **ludwig was having a meeting i think? those cute italians were there to drop off the lunch and the dark haired one didn't shove me out of the way this time :) :) :)

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **The italians were here and i missed it? Goddammit. Please tell me there are some leftover sandwiches, at least.

**Antonio Carriedo: **very sorry but the customer support guys took all the sandwiches.

**Gilbert Beilschmidt: **:-(


	2. Gchats 2: Call Me Boss

_Michael: Hong Kong  
Aron: Iceland  
Jens: Denmark  
Eirik: Norway  
Lily: Liechtenstein  
Michelle: Seychelles  
Marcus Vargas: Grandpa Rome  
Yong Soo: South Korea  
Andrei: Romania  
Georgi: Bulgaria_

* * *

** Michael Li:** dude just got out of the longest meeting EVER kill me now

** Aron Larson:** Haha. That bad?

**Michael Li**: like, i thought vargas was never going to shut up… he was going on and on about how he charmed the cranky german client into booking additional services. its like ok grandpa, we get it, you can talk your way into anything

**Aron Larson**: At least you get to have your team meetings at La Cucina Romana. We're just stuck in Jens' office. Without alcohol. I thought Marketing was supposed to be the fun boozy department?

**Michael Li**: haha true, i can sit through a lot for breadsticks and red wine, even vargas' blather. consulting department for the win!

**Aron Larson**: BRB.

**Michael Li**: k

**Aron Larson**: Sorry. Jens wanted the latest design for the webinar email ASAP. You know how he gets when he wants something.

**Michael Li**: uhh since when does he care about the emails? i thought you said he doesnt pay attention to anything you do

**Aron Larson**: He said he wanted to go over them with Eirik.

**Michael Li**: so you're saying he wanted an excuse to get eirik alone in his office. niiiiice

**Aron Larson**: Shut up. That's my brother and my boss you're talking about. Gross.

**Michael Li**: hahahah. whatever man. so you still in for hh at jackson's after work?

**Aron Larson**: I dunno. Who's going to be there?

**Michael Li**: michelle, yong soo, i think andrei invited georgi… the usual.

**Aron Larson**: Hmm… Well, I kind of have a lot of work. I wasn't expecting Jens to take a sudden deep interest in emails so I'm behind.

**Michael Li**: don't worry loser, i overheard feliks harassing lily into going. so you can like be sad and lame around her as usual.

**Aron Larson**: I hate you. ...See you at 5.

* * *

** Jens Bendtner:** Hey buddy!

**Aron Larson**: Yes?

**Jens Bendtner**: You available around lunchtime tomorrow?

**Aron Larson**: Um, I think so. Why? If this is about the email designs, I'll have them done by COB today.

**Jens Bendtner**: Haha, no worries, I know you're chugging away on that! I got Eirik to show me a draft and it looks great! You two are such a talented duo!

**Aron Larson**: Thanks…

**Jens Bendtner**: But anyway, it's the new guy's first day tomorrow, and I wanna take him out for a team lunch. Welcome him to the Marketing department the right way, and all!

**Aron Larson**: Oh, ok. Yeah, I'm free. I didn't know anyone was joining the department.

**Jens Bendtner**: Yup! His name's Tino Vanomen… Vainomoin… something really long and Finnish. I'll just call him Tino V! He's gonna handle events and tradeshows, work the booth, all that jazz. Because as much as ol' Berwald is smart as a whip and the expert on our product, he's not so great with attracting people to our booth, haha! But Tino is super nice and cute as a button!

**Aron Larson**: Yes, because that's what we need. More cute people.

**Jens Bendtner**: Aww, don't worry. You and your brother are still the cutest! So keep tomorrow at 1pm free! I'll send out an Outlook invite soon. Later, buddy!

* * *

**Aron Larson**: Are you going to the team lunch tomorrow?

** Eirik Larson:** unfortunately yes. the Idiot gained access to my calendar so I had no ready excuse to get out of it.

**Aron Larson**: I don't know if it's such a good idea to refer to your boss as the Idiot.

**Eirik Larson**: i will give him my respect when he earns it by doing something useful instead of constantly hanging around in my office hindering my work. besides, you're one to talk.

**Aron Larson**: What do you mean?

**Eirik Larson**: you show no respect to me as your boss.

**Aron Larson**: You are NOT my boss.

**Eirik Larson**: yes I am. all your projects come through me.

**Aron Larson**: I report to Jens. Just because Jens is too lazy to give me my projects directly doesn't mean you're my boss.

**Eirik Larson**: call me boss.

**Aron Larson**: NO.

**Eirik Larson**: call me boss.

**Aron Larson**: Shut up.

**Eirik Larson**: call me boss or i might decide to show up at happy hour and tell lily all about the adventures of aron in middle school.

**Aron Larson**: NO. If you do that, I'll tell Jens that you were too shy to invite him to happy hour but secretly really wanted him to come.

**Eirik Larson**: this isn't over.


	3. Gchats 3: fuckyeahpuppieswithguns

** Eduard Von Bock:** Hey Tino!

**Tino Väinämöinen:** Ed! Hi! :)

**Eduard Von Bock**: How are you settling in?

**Tino Väinämöinen:** Good so far! I've been in orientation all morning, but I finally got a break so I could get on my computer and check my email.

**Eduard Von Bock**: Oh good, so Raivis got you all set up?

**Tino Väinämöinen: **Is Raivis the super twitchy guy who brought me the laptop? I never caught his name. He was so nervous! I felt bad. It made me wonder if you told him horrible stories about me or something, haha!

**Eduard Von Bock**: Yes, that's him. Don't take it personally, he's like that with everyone. Of course I didn't tell him horrible stories. But I did tell him to give you admin rights on your computer so that you can download Chrome instead of being stuck with Internet Explorer.

**Tino Väinämöinen:** You're the best!

**Eduard Von Bock**: No worries. You can pay me back with a six pack of Koff Porter. ;)

**Tino Väinämöinen:** Haha, I will! I definitely owe you anyway, for referring me to this job. I'm so excited! Hetasoft seems like a great place to work! I haven't met any of my coworkers in the marketing dept except for my new boss, though. They're all taking me out to lunch soon, but I'm nervous. I hope they like me!

**Eduard Von Bock**: The marketing guys are difficult to read - they tend to stick to themselves. Eirik (the web guy) joins our weekly poker game sometimes, though. He's quiet, but competent - knows his stuff and never has stupid IT help desk requests (unlike Bendtner). His younger brother Aron (graphic designer) is even quieter. A few of us have a betting pool on when he'll finally get the nerve to have a full conversation with the receptionist.

**Tino Väinämöinen:** Aww, he's shy? Poor guy! What about the product manager? Mr. Bendtner told me that I would be working closely with him at events, but all he said was that "he's soooo grim, you'll have to work extra hard to make sure his scary face doesn't scare off prospects!"

**Eduard Von Bock**: Berwald? Bendtner is right, his face is pretty scary. I don't think I've seen him smile once in the whole time I've been working here. I've tried to strike up a conversation with him when I'm installing software on his laptop, but he just sort of grunts and mumbles at me. Plus, his internet history is full of weird links to Nordic furniture sites. Something's not right with that guy.

**Tino Väinämöinen:** Yikes! Now I'm even more nervous. :-\ Well, thanks for the inside info!

**Eduard Von Bock**: Not a problem. Thanks to my position, I know everyone's secrets. ;) For example, my boss Ivan? He comes off as scary but I happen to know that he watches the Trololo video on a daily basis.

**Tino Väinämöinen:** Haha, seriously?! That is too funny. I hope you didn't get me hired here just so you could stalk my internet history too!

**Eduard Von Bock**: I already know you spend all your time on the fuckyeahpuppieswithguns Tumblr.

**Tino Väinämöinen: **But they're just so cute and badass! :-P OK, time for lunch. Wish me luck!


End file.
